Most children
think that their parents want to run their lives forever. Nothing could be
further from the truth. Most parents want children that are capable of taking
care of themselves, but the pathway to that independence can take a while, and
is fraught with setbacks and dangers.
The air was cool
at five thousand feet when they opened the side door of the Cessna Caravan and
the wind gusted through the cramped cabin. I straddled a bench with my tandem instructor
crammed in behind me, and two more tandem pairs ahead of me. Through the puffy
white clouds, I could see the surf breaking below and the rows of white foamy
water rushing to shore. We were circling above a hole in the clouds hoping that
it would move over our drop zone so we could tumble out of the open door and
into the mirth. The scenery was spectacular, but my heart was pounding. The
turboprop hummed along and in spite of the swirling winds, the smell of the
engine exhaust lingered in the cabin. My stomach did flips while we waited for
the right conditions.
Early that day
my son, Rian, had graduated from BYU Hawaii – my first college graduate. The
speakers were succinct and spoke of character over academic performance, and
integrity over income. Before they began to read the names of the graduate (not
an easy task at the most diverse university on the planet), a choir sang a
beautiful rendition of the song “Homeward Bound” by Marta Keen. It gave me
chills as the metaphors from the song conjured up deep emotional images for me.
In the quiet misty morning
When the moon has gone to bed
When the sparrows stop their singing
And the sky is clear and red
When the summer’s ceased it’s gleaming
When the corn is past its prime
When adventure’s lost its meaning
I’ll be homeward bound in time
Chorus
Bind me not, to the pasture
Chain me not to the plow
Set me free to find my calling
And I’ll return to you somehow
That was my chorus as I
approached adulthood. I dreamt of far off places removed from the pastures and
plows of home. My parents not only refused to bind or chain me to a future of
their choosing, they encouraged me to go forth and find my calling, even if it
took me away; Even if it put me in danger. Never once did I feel bound to a
life I didn’t want to live. My parents gave me wings.
Through the hole in the
clouds we could see the drop zone. The pilot gave the go ahead and my stomach
did one more flip as I looked down at the volcanic mountains covered in green
trees and the deep blue water of the Pacific. I wondered if I was ready for this
experience. (During all my flight training, jumping out of an airplane was always considered an emergency.) I wondered if I was ready to die. My son sat just a few feet in
front of me in the second half of the group. Was I ready to let him go?
He was my firstborn, my
oldest son, the experimental child. I thought about all the mistakes I made as
a young parent. I remembered all the foolish things I had said to him, or all
the times I yelled at him, or was too tired to play with him. Had I prepared
him well enough to succeed at life? Did I give him the courage to find his own
calling? Could I give him the wings he needed to fly and push him from the
nest?
If you find it’s me your missing
If you’re hoping I’ll return
To your thoughts I’ll soon be listening
When I’m homeward bound again
Then the wind will set me racing
As my journey nears its end
Then the path I’ll be retracing
When I’m homeward bound again
Chorus
Bind me not, to the pasture
Chain me not to the plow
Set me free to find my calling
And I’ll return to you somehow
The pilot gave
the signal, and we shuffled to the door and fell into the blue, homeward bound.
Skydiving is to flying what motorcycle riding is to driving a car. I felt like
I was one with the scenery as I fell to earth and felt the rush of the wind. We
tumbled and hurtled downward reaching terminal velocity, and personal discovery.
When the chute opened and the rushing wind became a whispering breeze, I let
out an exhilarating yell. I was going to live. Perhaps more importantly, I was
living.
As I touched
down and disconnected, I looked upward for my son.
I don’t know
what road he will choose, how far he will go, or what dangers he might face. I
only hope he knows that he is not bound to the pasture or chained to the plow.
He is free to find his calling. I only pray that when he has, the wind will set
him racing homeward bound again.
BTW here's the video - https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10203634888295710&set=vb.1321445124&type=2&theater
